video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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