"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
