Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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