STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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