Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
