He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
