he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
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remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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