We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Couch. On fire.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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