she sounds like chewbacca in bed
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
