if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Randomize
