Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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