So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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