dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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