Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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