I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Randomize
