Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize