Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Randomize
