I just made out with a guy for $7.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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