I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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