You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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