Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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