Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
