GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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