My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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