I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize