I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
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