Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
