At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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