I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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