I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
