Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
