And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize