butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
