I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
