i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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