can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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