this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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