Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Randomize
