God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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