we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize
