I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
