Capitaan dildo arrescate!
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
