The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
being pregnant is like rehab
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
