What a fucking waste of an outfit
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize