i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
His hands were made for my vagina.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
