Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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