My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
