I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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