hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
