So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
