There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
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