Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
