My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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