OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Randomize
