Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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