Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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