Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
