I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
