I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
