She is in my trunk
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize